Failure

The 5 Ages of the American Failure
5: Astronaut
11: Paleontoligist
18: Astronomer
30: Luthier
43: Happy would be enough
(borrowed with slight alterations from theamericanfailure.wordpress.com)

"Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing."
Vince Lombardi

"Ah, "All things come to those who wait," (I say these words to make me glad), But something answers, soft and sad, "They come, but often come too late"
Anonymous


A bit of a downer today, ladies and gents. As some of you know, I have been struggling with money for a few years now. Part of it is my attitude toward it, which I have been working on, part is living in Northern California, (high cost of living, difficult job market post dotcom bust), and part is the bad decisions of my past haunting me. This year has been a rollercoaster both emotionally and monetarily. I spent over $2000 keeping my aging car together, moved back in with my parents (again) to save some money, and fell in love with a guy 2000 miles away. And just as I was starting to feel some sense of accomplishment and something resembling peace with the situation, my car demands $1600 to run right and not antagonize me with the check engine light. That was my savings for moving plus some. Gone. That's over $3000 on a car that I thought was doing pretty well. Maybe that IS doing pretty well when you have over 140,000 miles on you. (What is that in people miles? It could very well translate to my age...) I guess I'm stupid about cars.

Needless to say I'm not feeling very smart, capable or adult right now. This kind of stuff brings out the "you are a miserable failure at everything involving money" self-talk and it is hard to get free. That self image has been with me a long time and is in no hurry to leave. Why leave when you've got roots down? I'm sure it's very cozy in my head.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me...? (go crazy with the cheese whiz...)