2009? Already?

Well, this was going to be a screed on how sports can be better than the best reality TV or soap opera. This past football weekend saw jaw-dropping surprise, heartbreak, amazing accidents, collapse, triumph and revenge in staggering amounts. This past weekend is why I watch sports. That old cliche is annoying but true: that's why they play the game.

Instead, I want to wish everyone a wonderful 2009! I am leaving for Phoenix in a while and am looking forward to a week with my sweetie in "neutral territory". I tend to take New Years somewhat seriously. I usually go out of town by myself, have a good meal and contemplate the past 365 days. I also like to "clean up my side of the street" in my relationships during Fall/Winter. (I think I was Jewish in my last life.) Looking back on 2008, it has been a huge learning and growing experience for me. There were points that seemed endlessly painful and some that were unexpectedly joyous. I was often surprised at myself. I was definitely pleasantly surprised with the United States! I thought I had seen or heard it all, but I continue to be shown new things/ideas/horizons. It has been a good year for me. I hope it was for you.

May 2009 be beautiful, amazing, loving and expanding for all!

The Groundhog Day of Football Teams

I just stole that phrase from someone on an Eagles board. Good lord is he/she right. My custom message on GoogleChat is "thank goodness for hockey season". Since basketball holds less and less allure for me, all that is left during this time of year is the Sharks. This post by aphillyphan sums up how I feel almost perfectly:

"...Then (Bob) Costas asked (Charles) Barkley who was in the audience and he put it perfectly; "Philly is a great place to play... when you're winning." That's what I see everytime I read the comments of bloggers. Our bigtime players aren't allowed to make ANY mistakes. It's easy to look at the final score and say D-Mac's fumble cost us the game, but I look at the larger picture: This organization has won with mediocre talent at the skill positions for 8 years (average WR's, one great TE in Chad Lewis, One great RB in West and a seldom used good one in Buck,) because of their defense and the lack of talent in the divison. Well now the division has wised up to Andy's game plan. You wanna know why Jeff Fisher is the longest tenured coach in the Not For Long right now? It ain't cause he's a genius (or maybe in his simplicity he is) it's cause he understands you need to punish the opposing offense with pressure and physical play and you need to punish the opposing defense with a running game and physical play. Andy has not gotten this, and will never get this because he thinks a short pass play is the equivalent of a run. NO andy it is not! A running play means your offensive line gets to play downhill, and push the D-line around. Which tires out their pass rush and makes pass blocking easier. All I want next year is a coach who understands that and a GM who will bring in the people to execute. Which means Andy HAS TO GO!!!"

All I would add to that is the Eagles' ongoing problem(s) with clock management is unfathomable (which is tied to a lack of consistent running game), don't shoot the rookie WR who had a bad day, and whoever is up in the booth and responsible for monitoring replays for challenge should be taken out back and shot. A telling stat: Eagles are 7-0 when they run the ball more often than they pass. Not more yards. More often. They are 1-6-1 when they don't.

One of the best things I heard yesterday in the sports bar was "I'm a drunk Mexican standing in a sports bar and I can tell you what the next 2 plays are going to be! If a drunk Mexican can tell you the next 2 plays, don't you think the other team's defense can?!?" Amen, O-Dizzle. Amen.

It's Not Easy Being Green

As many of you know, I am a big fan of the site Fark.com. My former roommate and drummer turned me on to it - thank you Shea! The content is always interesting and sometimes hilarious. They have photoshop contests for the hardcore farkers with skills. The above is from one such photoshop contest and it made me laugh out loud. If you'd like to see other entries for this contest, go here. Take care that you don't need to be quiet...

Scattershot

"I can see Russia from my house!" - Tina Fey, impersonating Alaska Governor Sarah Palin on SNL Sept. 13, 2008.

This is the #1 quote of the year according to the Yale Book of Quotations. I don't believe I've said much about Gov. Palin. That is more due to confusion than anything else. I do know that she bears a resemblance to Peggy Hill on "King of the Hill". I'm not sure I have reached a conclusion on Gov. Palin. There's a lot to riff on there. Mostly I wonder how and why her VP candidacy came to pass. The best thing I can come up with is what I usually say about a minority in an unusual position: when they can attempt something and fark it up, and it doesn't become the last chance a black, woman, etc. gets for a long time (and it doesn't become an indictment of the entire race, gender or sexual orientation), then we've made progress toward equality.

There is a nifty quote on that list about the Treasury Department kinda randomly coming up with the $700 billion dollar figure they've been throwing around. They just wanted a really big number for the initial bailout figure and $700 billion seemed big enough. I'm impressed with its bigness. Are you? The 15 year old anarchist in me says fuck all those CEO's and other greedy asses who ran their companies into the ground. Let em die. Better yet, make them give their bonuses, expenses, and expensive toys back to the company if they want it to stay open. No mercy. The adult in me sees all the people whose lives are dependent on jobs with these companies and how they weren't responsible for the mess. They can't be thrown out in the cold just like that. The "take the money and run" attitudes that have ruled the last 2 decades are meeting their inevitable ends. Every fat cat who knowingly fleeced the rest of us should be pilloried. Everyone should know who they are and what they've done. Makes me sick.

And now for something completely different - this year's "Scared of Santa" photo entries! A whole new level of child humiliation! Numbers 8, 17 & 22 confirm that anyone can be Santa if they apply for the job. Numbers 16, 29, 30 & 32 are the faces of abject terror. One of the children in #28 will be exacting a vicious revenge on their parents later in life. Just you wait...

Failure

The 5 Ages of the American Failure
5: Astronaut
11: Paleontoligist
18: Astronomer
30: Luthier
43: Happy would be enough
(borrowed with slight alterations from theamericanfailure.wordpress.com)

"Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing."
Vince Lombardi

"Ah, "All things come to those who wait," (I say these words to make me glad), But something answers, soft and sad, "They come, but often come too late"
Anonymous


A bit of a downer today, ladies and gents. As some of you know, I have been struggling with money for a few years now. Part of it is my attitude toward it, which I have been working on, part is living in Northern California, (high cost of living, difficult job market post dotcom bust), and part is the bad decisions of my past haunting me. This year has been a rollercoaster both emotionally and monetarily. I spent over $2000 keeping my aging car together, moved back in with my parents (again) to save some money, and fell in love with a guy 2000 miles away. And just as I was starting to feel some sense of accomplishment and something resembling peace with the situation, my car demands $1600 to run right and not antagonize me with the check engine light. That was my savings for moving plus some. Gone. That's over $3000 on a car that I thought was doing pretty well. Maybe that IS doing pretty well when you have over 140,000 miles on you. (What is that in people miles? It could very well translate to my age...) I guess I'm stupid about cars.

Needless to say I'm not feeling very smart, capable or adult right now. This kind of stuff brings out the "you are a miserable failure at everything involving money" self-talk and it is hard to get free. That self image has been with me a long time and is in no hurry to leave. Why leave when you've got roots down? I'm sure it's very cozy in my head.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me...? (go crazy with the cheese whiz...)

Oh no! The black quaterback gets mad!

In my last post I vented my disappointment with Donovan McNabb. It seems as if the poor boy is just not himself and hasn't been so for a long time. He makes bad throws - into double coverage, 10 feet over receivers' heads, into the ground - like he's unsure of himself. If your receivers were habitually dropping passes and your running game was suspect, you'd probably second guess yourself, too. I never said that the whole team was perfect except 5. I simply think 5 has problems.

Now. After a MUCH better showing by the Eagles tonight, especially from 5, you may be expecting me to change my mind. No. Not so fast. Sir Ian McKellen once said that consistency is overrated in acting. That may be, but it is crucial in quarterbacking. After the game I found it interesting that Deion Sanders so fiercely pointed out all the criticism and scrutiny McNabb has endured during his career, and came pretty close to telling everyone who has been on his back to stfu. From an historical perspective, yeah, I don't wanna hate on the man. He was boo'd on draft day. Draft day! When he brought up that he thinks he gets more crap than other elite qb's (white guys), people went nuts. When he doesn't say anything or serves up the party line during press conferences, people go nuts. He almost always takes the high road when there's conflict and guess what? People go nuts. Can't win for losing, this guy.

All that being said, I finally get to my point. When McNabb joined Sanders and company during the post game show, he was asked when he got to talk to Coach Reid about his (premature and idiotic) benching last Sunday. Apparently Reid didn't tell 5 himself, he sent an assistant coach to do it. McNabb said that he, Reid and some others talked on Monday, but they didn't get to what he feels needs to be aired. And he looked and sounded pissed. Deeply insulted. Which is a rare show of honest emotion. And I found myself really happy about it. I'm glad he's angry. I was beginning to think he was the persona he wears. The man SHOULD be pissed off! I would be! But it's much easier for the black woman to be angry than the black man. He is feared enough without expressing "negative" emotion. I can't wait to see the message boards tomorrow. I can see it now...

People will go nuts.

Ooo-ver-raaaa-ted..!

My So Cal friend CStrom, also known as strom09, left a comment on my last post and emailed me about football teams/quarterbacks/divisions that are overrated. I do enjoy the chant/cheer "ooo-verrr-raaa-ted!" almost as much as "buulll-shiit!", but that's a topic for another day. The idea of having a nice big complain about things I find overrated appeals to me, so I'm gonna run with that. Please feel free to chime in.

The NFC East - Going with the football lead, I was certainly not the only person thinking that "The East Would Rise Again" this year. With flashes of brilliance from the Redskins and Dallas, some good play from the Eagles, and knowing that the Giants were already insulted by the "experts" not picking them to return to the Super Bowl, the East seemed poised to kick some ass. Only the Giants have heeded the call. Sigh.

Donovan McNabb - I didn't want to say it cause I knew everyone would jump on me, but 5 has not been the same since the Super Bowl. I can't say if his skills have diminished to the point of his career being over, but his time in Philly is over. I think it's just time for a new coach/gameplan. I partially blame him and partially blame Coach Reid for the laughing stock the Eagles have become.

Don Nelson - Basketball coach Don Nelson is a media darling (at least here in the Bay Area) who accomplishes not a whole hell of a lot. He does some cute things playing a small lineup and says charming things to the talkshow hosts, but he ruined Run TMC and I doubt he'd know what to do with a roster of marquee players if he had them. Take your overpaid ass back to your house in Hawai'i. Not a fan.

Experts - It doesn't even matter what field. The older I get, the more it is apparent that experts are people with enough ego to get paid for their interpretation of events. No more, no less. See age old adage regarding opinions and assholes.

The 80's - Look, don't get me wrong. I lived it. I was there. I remember Haysi Fantayzee. I had blue fingernail polish and spikey hair. I remember feeling superior for knowing who U2 and the B-52's were before they got on commercial radio. I even remember when Phil Collins played the drums. But for God's sake people, it was one decade! Not that different from the 70's or the 90's. The 80's had embarassing fashions, classic music, bad dancing, guilty-pleasure music and lame movies just like the 70's. Why the instant nostalgia that hit in the late 90's? Oh yeah, cause the 90's were truly awful.

Downhill Skiing - I know what you're thinking... you're thinking "Of course she thinks skiing is overrated. She's black!" That is a legitimate conclusion, I'll admit. My brother would rather be drawn and quartered than be cold for any length of time. But notice that I specifically said "downhill". Cross-country is totally fine. Exhausting, but fine. Downhill, however, bites. Being run down by reckless yahoos while trying to figure out how to keep your legs from going in opposite directions is NOT FUN. WTF people?! Maybe snowboarding is better.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Tis the season for many things. However, there seems to be a lot of movement in my little community, mostly around livelihood. Rhonda is returning to nursing after about 2 years away. Ian is branching out to more acting & music, and had a voiceover gig today. Conversely, he is also looking for a "regular" job after years of owning his own businesses. Would you call that "branching in"? Both Leah and Peg over in Aptos are moving on. LeeLee is changing departments at Cabrillo after, what, 6 years? And Peg is retiring early, as she most richly deserves after a few too many psychopathic bosses. Reanna is going to go to school full time next year. (w00t!) My sister is getting closer to a career change after 7 or 8 years as a music/theater teacher. But the really big news, the news closest to my heart, is that Casey was offered a position at Methodist University in Fayetteville, NC!! There is much rejoicing as he goes forward (and away from Georgia!) to use that Masters Degree. He will soon be officially known as an Access Services Librarian. No, I can't tell you what that means and no, I'm not proud of that. I can forward you the job description, though. My goal is to understand what Library Science is by June 2010.

All silliness aside, congratulations to all who see the need for change and make it happen. Courage is not an absence of fear; it's not letting the fear stop you. You have my respect and admiration. Rock on!

Something Old, Something New

After a crap night's sleep (Was last night around 12:30am a holiday? Please enlighten me, because my neighbor's entire family was going in and out of the backyard, slamming the screen door and talking loudly around that time), I was jolted into perverse glee over hearing the phrase "house negro" on the radio this morning. There's one you don't hear every day! Well, unless you know Ian. I was thrilled to find that someone finally had the nerve to throw the "Amos & Andy", "Stepin Fetchit" gauntlet. It was only a matter of time, right? As the true racists come out into the light, this was gonna surface, no question. To my dismay and simultaneous non-surprise the comment came from Al-Qaeda. The non-surprise is that they had something inflammatory to say about the US. The dismay came from the fact that those "Sand Niggers" had to pull that particular card. What I mean by that is it makes me sad when minorities throw that stuff at each other. I gotta give them props for culling the reference from Malcom X, but come on! Do we have to start a new administration from those words? Someone should tell Al-Q that they don't want black folk hatin' on them. We are VERY protective of our homeys and Obama is our boy. Until he screws up. Then he'll be an "Uncle Tom".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7737710.stm

*******************

Gotta give a shout out to Wanda Sykes, who did a very brave thing this week. She publically announced that she is gay and that she married her lover in October. There are not many prominent black people out of the closet. Perhaps something good is coming of the passing of Prop 8. Hey, have to take the positives where you can find them...

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=6284348&page=1

Stay Classy Kansas!

Why tell the truth when a lie is SO much more interesting?

I was going to ask where the President of the United States was referenced in the Bible, but it seems that our friend here was going with the "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me" angle. Whatever it takes to fill the pews....

Garbage In, Garbage Out

I don't know about y'all, but the "quality" of my email spam is changing. (Have you seen the low sodium Spam and Spam Lite that Hormel is selling now? How is less sodium or fat supposed to make Spam more palatable? It's SPAM for God's sake! If you're gonna eat that, take it like a man and just get the complete original version!) My Yahoo account never got a lot of the "You pen1$ bigger, she luv u" variety, which is a relief. I mean, I'd much rather be unaware of any potential pen1$ problems I'm having. Wouldn't you? What I'm talking about is the "MCCULLOUGH DISTANT RELATIVE MONEY IN WILL" and "PLEASE help me cash money order!" kind. Just when you thought everyone had seen these stupid things, they seem to be making a comeback. I wonder if it is a sign of the economic times. Are people desperate enough to start seriously eyeballing these things, thinking "Hmmm... I wonder if this is REALLY a scam? I need to make my mortgage..."? Or tis it the season to be taken in by easy money schemes as we try to keep up with the Jones' spoiled brats and create an artifical peace with our families that we lack the other 364 days of the year? If this were after Christmas, I'd say it was an attempt to scam older people who just got their first computer. Maybe this happens every year, but I'm just noticing it.

Age is a High Price for Maturity

Don't know what that has to do with anything. Saw a similar quote earlier today.

Thoughts about the United States finally sacking up and electing a brown President:

My caucasian sisters & brothers: do not try to claim his half white lineage. "Why does everyone keep calling him black? His Mother was white." Because, you historically challenged motherscratcher, your ancestors made damn sure that "one drop of black" meant no rights or privileges. If one of your people made the mistake of breeding with one of them, no quarter was given. Y'all made that bed. Happy slumber. Besides, are you so threatened that you can't let some black and mixed race people have a moment without you? All these years of domination weren't enough?

There will be an ongoing weeding out of racists over the next 4 years. A flurry of them will willingly emerge from under the protective cloak of hysterical conservatism (which is very nicely explained here. Thanks to CStrom for that article.) early in Obama's term, but it will be a long process of separating the merely ignorant from the hateful. Some will be afraid to say anything for fear they will be called racist, even if they offer simple political criticism. And there will be folks ready and waiting to slap them with the label regardless of what gets said. I feel for and understand both sides of that. I wish it weren't so. This next step in race relations in this country will be touchy, but so very necessary.

I realized, when I saw Rev. Jesse Jackson in the crowd in Chicago on Election Day, that I was deeply relieved that a black man who is NOT a religious figure has risen to prominence in the USA. Our President is a black man of education, intellect, ideas and charisma. Not religion. When Rev. Jackson ran for President back in the day, people would ask me "So, you gonna vote for him?" and I'd say no. I am a massive believer in separation of church and state and yes, I know that is grey area when it comes to how and why this country was founded. But there is one thing that most people don't realize: being a minister or pastor was the pinnacle of black male power in this country for a very long time. It is ingrained in the black culture and one of the symptoms of that is a blind following of religious authority. We tend to sit in church, waiting to be fed what to think, what to do and what to believe. That pack mentality is one of the reasons I rejected religion back in my teens.

Cause Ian Said So

Those of you who know me know that I think blogs are at best kinda clever and at worst masturbatory. Unless it is a blog meant for comedy (see here). Then it's either funny or not funny. Simple as that. So why in the world am I doing this? Because my dear friend Ian said I should. Simple and stupid as that. He seems to think someone besides himself would be interested in what I have to say. Go figure. But I'll try it. Jury's still out on getting a Facebook account, though. My sister told me to get one, but I dunno....

Oh! The blog name. Should explain. (I sound like Rorschach. Can you tell I just read "Watchmen"? Farking excellent read if you haven't already done so. Wanted to get that in before the movie comes out next year and my groovy boyfriend thoughtfully bought it for me.) I had a brilliant, talented and highly neurotic friend in high school named Colomba. My other friends didn't care much for her, but I understood her and we managed to have some good times together. The best Christmas of my adult life was spent with her in London. Her Mother, for whom English was a second language, used to hilariously mess up cliches and band names. She would call Oingo Boingo "Wongy Bongy", but my all time favorite was her mixing "That's the way the cookie crumbles" with "That's the way the ball bounces". Now you know.