Thwart the Rise of the Darkies!

Since one of the few things that motivate people to action these days is racism (A facebook page about boycotting the Thor movie is referenced here . I'm only referring to the obvious racists on this issue. There is plenty of intelligent conversation about race & casting going on. Just not here at the moment.), and it's more clever cousin classism, perhaps we should couch important concepts in a way that speaks to these folks. The ends justify the means, right? Come on! Let's try it out!

Global warming. A serious threat to the planet's health. So much complete drivel is spoken by Republicans about this, amongst other things. You just can't make this crap up. And let's face it, if you want the dumb bastards to do anything it has to be in their self interest. So let's appeal to that selfish side, shall we? Let's say that global warming will change the climate in such a way that people without enough melanin in their skin will have a hard time surviving. Temperatures will rise and they'll all get terrible burns and skin cancer. No level of spf will prevent the damage. Bad news, right? But wait... if all the unfortunate "melanin challenged" people get taken out, who will be in charge? Who will run things? Who will make all the money? The Dark People! That's right! When the full effects of global warming occur, the darkies will reap the benefits. We will rule the earth. I think that kind of spin will get The Man's attention, don't you? The horrible gnawing panic in their guts will propel them into frenetic action! Legislation will start flying! Polar bears will suddenly become the most important animal on the planet. The US will start cranking out affordable high mileage/low emissions cars. They'll be giving solar panels away. Tree planting will be rampant. Of course some will call themselves planting those trees for life-saving shade once the warming comes. Credit to Rep. Joe Barton, R(idiculous) - Texas, for that one.

So let's brainstorm! What other things can we tart up so the less intelligent can participate in doing the right thing?

Finding Your People

While talking to Ian this afternoon, he mentioned that lately things had been happening all at once - all good one week or month, all bad the next. Today was kind of like that for me. Luckily it was all good.

As much as I have tried to take in the differentness of Fayetteville and appreciate it for what it is, there is a point where you realize that you are "other" and it will take years to fully understand what things are about. I am a California girl, pure and simple. I lived most of my life there and it is a place I understand. North Carolina, particularly Fayetteville, is another world. I also try not to judge too harshly since my ways are simply different, not necessarily better. However, it was worked against me more than once to not be from around here and that can breed a bit of resentment. You'd think that living in a military town, there would be more acceptance and compassion for people from other places. Perhaps you have to be military for people to be a little more understanding about it.

My friend Peg once told me a story about when her mother and step-father moved across country from California to Pennsylvania. She said that after a while they made up code for people they met who they could relate to. I don't remember exactly, but it was something akin to PLU - People Like Us. I met some "us-es" today and it was a validating experience. I feel slightly guilty, but it was a relief to meet people who see some things the way I do: from the outside.

The first outsider I met is going to be my boss starting Wednesday. He is from Atlanta and has quite the caustic wit. (Check out some of the shit he says on the not quite finished website digitalblacksmith.com) I think my real job is to never give him reason to speak ill of me. When he doesn't think much of someone, it's funny but very pointed. I realize that doesn't sound very good, but I like the guy and think we will work well together. We have similar ideas about work, success, and professionalism. We seem to get each other and I think that is borne of "otherness".

The second "other" I met was my new chiropractor. I must admit that I picked her because she physically reminded me of my former chiro and she went to Cal Berkeley. There were other criteria, but those figured prominently. I could have gone to a closer office, but I just had a feeling about her. It seemed as if she were as happy to see me as I was to see her. We just chatted away about California and being new to the area. She was really nice and helpful and I look forward to continuing to see her.

I'm very optimistic about these new relationships and hope they last a while. I think 2010 is gonna be just fine.

That's Enough

There's a certain level of crap being circulated that I can no longer take without saying something - even in my lame little blog way. I am desperately tired of the health care debate. It is nearly to the point where I don't care if the shit gets done or not because the vindictive ignorance of Americans deserves nothing. If we can't tell basic human compassion from fascism, well, to hell with us. This anecdote is very telling: http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/09/world-leader-to-obama-explain-why-theyre-putting-a-hitler-moustache-on-you/comments/page/5/

What is even more telling is the comment that says, "...You think you are entitled to FREE health care? NOTHING is FREE, period. Someone has to pay for this. Who do you expect to pay for your FREE health care? Get off your butt and pay for your own. And if you're in a situation where you can't, the government already provides assistance."

Let's get one thing straight - this alleged "government assistance" will NOT help you in many situations. WILL NOT. I was unemployed for approximately 2 years while in my late 30's. Certainly too old for Mommy & Daddy's insurance. Could I get Medicare? No. Could I get Medicaid? No. You know why I couldn't get those? Because I made the mistake of not having children, but owning a car. If you are a single, childless adult with something of dubious monetary value (the car was worth maybe $600 at the time), you get nothing. COBRA you say? Have you seen the price of COBRA? God bless you if you can pay rent, eat, make a car payment AND pay COBRA on 2 $300 unemployment checks a month. That's all I was getting from the state. Small wonder I spent a lot of that period of my life drinking.

I have sporadically had health care through employers since then. A lot of jobs I've taken have been subcontractor (they don't take any state of federal deductions out), so I haven't been an employee and therefore not qualified for insurance. I am not currently covered, and as a woman in her 40's, that's kinda scary, not to mention expensive, but I need this job. My upcoming Planned Parenthood checkup is going to cost me $175-195 and birth control pills are $60 a pack. I can only hope my fibroids don't come back and I don't have any serious health problems before my employer gets an insurance plan. Even then I may be plagued by the "pre-existing condition" monster and end up with very little.

Look, my ass has been saved by Santa Clara County health services more than once. I will forever be thankful to them for the services they provided when I desperately needed help. But to tell the truth, I never would have know those services were available had I not been desperate. And I am well aware that they do not have endless funding. No one does. I was lucky. Other people aren't so lucky. So why can't we care enough about our fellow man to make sure he/she can get help when it's needed? Why are services for the poor and down-on-their-luck the first things on the chopping block when government funding dwindles? Why do we make people who need help inferior/stupid/greedy? It's wrong.

Proximity Effect

I started to title this "The Tyranny of Distance", which reminds me of a Split Enz song (do you know which one?), but it was a little too harsh. Anyway...

FORMAL GREETINGS FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY!

I could easily have said "from another world", but that also would be a little too harsh. I have been in touch with many of you since I moved to Fayetteville, NC in June. I enjoy seeing y'all on Facebook and getting emails and texts. I seem to get the most texts on Sundays since football season started. Gee, I wonder why... In fact, football season really drove home how much I miss CA. I was terribly homesick the week after that first game. I sorely missed the little routine I had established for 15 or so Sundays every winter for the last 4 years. I miss the Jerseys crew and the cheesesteaks and knowing exactly where I was gonna be and what I was gonna be doing every Sunday. I know, I know, I have to make a new routine with new people, but any new people have a LOT to live up to. Besides, being in the East, I think more Eagles games will be shown in my market so I can stay home and do laundry while watching. Not to mention save money on beer.

There have been many surprises and adjustments over the last 3 months. It feels longer than 3 months, though. Maybe that's a testament to just how adaptable I am. Maybe it's because being broke and looking for a job makes time screech to a halt. (I did find a job at the end of August, by the way, and it alone is fodder for several blogs.) Two of the biggest surprises got me this past weekend. Casey and I drove to Lawrenceville, near Atlanta, to visit some of his friends. Ok. Does anyone see the weirdness in that sentence? We DROVE to ATLANTA. In 6 hours. You can drive all farking day in California and not get out of the state! Driving to a major city in another state is weird! I had trouble really grasping where we were.

We drove down Friday night and did a marathon visit day on Saturday with 1 friend in the morning and a couple in the afternoon and evening. It rained on and off on Friday and I knew Georgia was having trouble with flooding. Now, I have had moments of fear. You know, the "slamming on your brakes to avoid an accident" kind, or the "going to be late for an important appointment" kind. I have never been so scared for so long as I was in the wet weather that weekend. The rainstorm that fell on us on the way to breakfast slowed traffic to 10 mph on the freeway and I was afraid we were going to have to stop right there in the lane and wait it out. Then we had to drive through a puddle deep enough to have killed the engine. Luckily it didn't. Sunday we had breakfast with another of Casey's friends and her family, then headed to an Eagles fan hangout in Atlanta to watch the game. Great place and full of green! But afterward we had to detour all around to avoid flooded intersections. That night I was awakened several times by the loudest thunder I have ever heard. I now understand why children are afraid of thunder. Thunder in CA was never that loud nor that close. It shook the hotel! That's when I became convinced that we would not make it home in Casey's car. The hood is bent and lets water get to the power steering belt when it rains heavily. I just knew it would pour all day and I would get soaked to the bone while pushing the car off of the highway somewhere. I spent Monday morning trying not to cry or completely lose it as we got ready to check out. Turned out it was mostly clear and we got home just fine. And through it all, the entire weekend, Casey was cool as a cucumber. None of this phased him at all. I discovered how afraid I can be of weather and I can't say I like that about myself. It doesn't feel good.

Bland

President Obama is doing lots of things. Some I think are great, some not so great, and some only time will tell. One thing I'd like to get on his agenda is to return color to cars. I don't know about you, but I spend more than my share of time in traffic around the Bay Area. I consider myself fairly well versed on what the Silicon Valley crowd is driving these days. If you want to know what the latest models of luxury cars look like, cruise up and down 280 during rush hour. I see plenty of cars and can say with complete conviction that the majority of them are some variation on white, silver or beige/champagne. How stupefyingly dull and without personality! Are these the only colors they're making now? For quite a while I thought BMW only made silver cars. Once in a great while I'll see a blue or red one. Why have these horrid non-colors become so popular? Is this some indicator of the national psyche? Or has the auto industry been dictating public tastes for all these years and I never noticed before? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. It is unacceptable to be that displeasing to my eyes for so many hours every week. Perhaps a paintball gun is in order....

Real Men

Lately the concept of a "real man" has appeared on my radar quite a bit. Being a beneficiary of the 70's feminist movement but having more male friends than female, it is a question I've often wondered about, but maybe not in the way you think. I have always maintained, even through hormonal insanity and spending a small fortune on bras, that I'd rather be a woman in today's society than a man. Though complicated, women have more "acceptable" choices as to who to be than men. That's a bit of a generality, but I find it to be true.

I saw some fluff piece in a UK paper about now that there is a global recession and people are concerned about survival, the metrosexual image is going out of style because women now want a "broad-shouldered, strong provider type". This of course supposes that all women are needing or even looking for some man to protect them from the big, bad economy. I'm sure women in Canada are finding that hilarious since the majority of jobs that are being eliminated are traditionally male positions. Rentals of the old 80's movie "Mr. Mom" are sure to rise up there.

Then I saw this on Yahoo home page: What Is a Man? Well, I had to check that out! God knows Yahoo is known for their superb journalistic standards. Expecting another superficial piece of crap, I was surprised by the thoughtfulness of the list/article. Some of the stuff on there is a bit suspect in my opinion, but I think that may be simply because I'm female. (I try, but there will always be things about guys that I will never understand.) The thing that struck me most about this is the idea that a man should be thoughtful, observant and somewhat introspective. Such qualities are sorely missing from your usual sitcom, sporting event or advertising image. I also liked the slam on Mark McGuire about taking responsibility. My sentiments exactly.

And let's not leave out "The Nice Guy" concept. Poor, sweet, trying-so-hard Nice Guy who always finishes last. He's constantly the counterpoint to the womanizing asshole, but neither one of them ever appealed to me at all. I've always had a problem with Nice Guy but couldn't quite put my finger on it. This blogger, while criticizing a webcomic, does a nice job of giving voice to my nagging doubts about Nice Guy.

In 1982, Joe Jackson released the album "Night & Day". It's a wonderful album and contains the song "Real Men". I don't know Joe's sexual orientation, (he was once married, but what does that mean really?) but his examination of what being a man is about is still relevant. ("Trying to Cry" on "Laughter and Lust" is a good one, too.)

So what does this all mean? Can there be a monolithic definition of what a man or woman is outside of the biological? Is biological even a fit basis anymore? Humans have always tried to explain their world in absolutes, things that everyone can understand and act on. You would think we would be able to think in more abstract terms by now. Not unlike the way I choose to understand a higher power, I believe that men and women are whoever they want to be. Whatever best suits who you are should be what you do. If you're secure in what you're about, then go forth boldly and do your thing. Unfortunately, we just aren't there yet.

Since You've Been Gone

Does anyone remember that song? "Since you've been gone, since you've been gone, I'm outta my head, can't take it..." 70's or 80's? Who was that? Popped into my head while trying to come up with a title. Doesn't really fit because technically I'm the one who's been gone. Which is good for you because I have become the most boring person ever.

All I do these days is think about what I need to do next. I'm bored and frustrated with myself. It sucks. All day, every day it's finish revising my resume, do I have a box for that, do I want to ship that at all, should I look for a job now, I guess I need a picture for LinkedIn, I don't have any interview clothes, I think I should get a bigger storage space, will I be able to see a Sharks or Giants game before I leave, when should I decide about a moving company, how am I going to afford all this, gotta finish writing the Office Manager procedures for my replacement, gotta have more work done on the car soon, what else can I send via media mail, and on and on until I either cry or fall asleep. Poor Casey has heard nothing from me but a constantly changing laundry list of tasks. To his credit he is very understanding and tries to help, but there are some things you just have to do yourself, ya know? My job is easy compared to my personal life. Ugh. On the upside, I decided to lose some weight and that's going well. The dress that I bought for interviewing is a size smaller than my usual, and it's already fitting better. I hear you: "What kind of idiot buys a dress that's too small?" This idiot when a) it was on sale for $30 and b) I need some incentive for the weight loss. So there.

And finally a shout out to my godson Sam. His hockey team is 5th in the nation for the 18 year old bracket!!!! They made it to the national tournament in Pennsylvania, but couldn't make it past the top ranked team. I say huge congratulations to the Tri-Valley Blue Devils for getting that far!!! Don't know for sure, but I'd say this was quite a coup for a California ice hockey team. I'm proud of you guys!